Graduation...

Rachael's grad is today.
I'm about to go shower.
I'm so stoked.
I'm very proud of her.
FUCK THE FUCK KNOT!

I can't go any further than this...

You said you're gonna marry her, just because it's safe.
You make me sick to my stomach.
I want nothing more than to be your everything.

asdfghjkl; grrrrrr.

I swear to God you're getting to me more everyday. There's no point in this. You're a billion miles away. It's really hard for me now. I wish you would stop saying you love me, because I'm not sure how I feel. It's even harder to admit that...

No kids, no kids, no kiiiiiiids!

I had to take a special picture for this. I'm so thrilled. Yet, it really was hard to watch them drive away. :[ But I'll be fi-ine as soon as my bestie gets here. [Among others.] But especially bestits Mysti. And I'm not sure how I feel about being a "smoker" because I feel bad everytime I smoke solo.

I think it be dumbuh.

Anywho-uh. Zero McLovely and I are about to sit down and eat babies. That is my plan. I'm so fucking happy with my life. Everything is okay. I'm okay. My mom is okay. The boys are okay. It's all okay. :D

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone...

I missed you again today, Cliff.
I got a little teary.
I wish you were still here.
God, I wish you were still here.
The kids are doing well.
I'm taking care of Phoenix like you asked me to.
He sleeps with me every night and throws fits.
If he's uncomfortable, he lets me know.

Shannon seems to be doing much better.
She is coming to see the boys today.
I'm going to get guardianship of them
so that I can legally help them and stuff.
My mom worked out this system of good marks
and bad marks for rewards and discipline.
It is working a lot better than yelling.

Justice is giving me the most problems.
He's so angry.
Especially without you.
I think he has still not fully accepted it.
None of us really have.

I love you.
I'll write to you soon.

Life;Life;Life.

Life as I know it is ceasing to exist.
Someone else's life has taken over.
It's so fucking hardddd.
I'm overwhelmed.
Tomorrow I must get off my ass
and clean this fucking apartment.
DHS don't like no messes, massa.

Schari is coming into town May 12th or 13th.
I'm inviting everyone to accompany us to
Frontier City; Clyde too.
It sounds spectacular to me.
I need a break from all this.

Shannon has been sober when I talked to her.
No joke.
All day.
NO. JOKE.
How confused am I?
Oh, I'm quite the mess.

I'm getting to a blank spot in my mind.
Epic fail.
I had so much to say.
G'night.

Starstruck...

One blog about you.
Here's another.
You can't expect me to ignore the fact
that you actually told me
you LOVE me.
Twice now.

Oh my gosh.

Seriously.
You make this much more difficult than need be.
I'm glad Mysti is the only person that sees this.
Ugh.
You are ridiculously on my mind too much.
I hate you for it.

Don't ask me why you make me laugh so hard.



[Oh, and, by the way.
It's not normal for me
to get sick when someone
says goodnight. Just sayin'.]