Your kisses cure cancer?

Holy fuck.
Please tell me this isn't happening.
I, all of a sudden, develop a sort of like-a-lot-ish feelings for a friend... from the internet! This is the stupidest thing. If he would just stop being so nice to me, so caring and concerned, so insecure and humble, so fucking wise and funny...
MAYBE I'D STOP LIKING HIM.
Internet boy crush.
Only it feels less like a crush.

I was crying.
Hard.
So you know what he said?
"What if I kissed your eyes.
Made them feel better.
For all you know, my kisses cure cancer."
I melted.
I think I shed one more tear FOR him.
But then I stopped. Because that was 3rd in line of things he had said to make me feel better.
He deserved my dry eyes.
He's fucking beautiful.
I know if I actually told anyone, they'd call me an idiot.
But he's the only person who keeps making me laugh through all of this.


New subject. Cliff's funeral is in a few hours. I can't sleep. I'm terrified. If I see him, it'll be real. Save me.