- shyla|20|okc/ moore|single|friends|music|photography|me+you
James Owen Sullivan means the world to me.
I have 4 tattoos.
I have 5 piercings, but I've had a total of around 9.
I truly don't care what others think of me.
I'll still be me when I wake up in the morning.
I'll be your best friend if you'll let me.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Today was Dan's last day as a driver for the Senior Center. He did home deliveries on Route 6. :D He's going to be a full time butcher at the new Crest.
All I really know about Dan:
Lost his wife.
Was a butcher for many years.
And he said he needs this job because when he has too much free time, all he thinks about is his wife. He loved her very very very much. I can tell.
Dan, I've only just gotten to know you, but I love you very much. You're so kind and I hope you visit us often!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
"I'd rather you tumbl about me like it's TWENTY-TEN... but okay."
So Mason Tyler Mann is about to embark on a journey with Demetrius. It's going to be beautiful for him. I'm so excited. I wish I could see tonight through Mary and Mason's eyes. But sadly, I'm choosing not to.
I'll update this and tell you what he sees.
"Sharting is a Trojan horse... It starts as a gift to the Romans which turns out to be your bowel's soldiers..."
UPDATE: He didn't explain what he saw. He just liked the ceiling.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
I just wanted to show off my favorite view at my work. This is the billiards area. Home to my favorite people. Now, you see that guy in the red? That's Jimmy. He's slick. I love him to death. He was for sure a charmer in his prime. He's still a charmer. You can't see him, but my newest friend is Dale. He was on the far right. Dale is a jolly guy, who has a keen fashion sense... He likes to wear a tee shirt with lounge shorts, penny loafers and shin-high white socks. I love it.
Dale told a story today that I'd like to share.
He said that once, "in the hippie times, ya see", that he and his wife went camping. While they were camping, she was scared that some hippies would come along and rob them or just plain attack them. [Yes, I'm serious.] So they were just on the ground in their sleeping bags, and his wife was scared to pieces. She said, "Well what are you going to do to protect me from those hippies?" He put his hatchet next to his sleeping bag and figured that'd be the end of it. But then, his wife became frightened of something else. She said, "But Dale, you know I have nightmares sometimes. What if I wake up hollerin' and you get me with that?!" He simply replied, "If you don't let me get to sleep... I will."
Bahaha. I love story time with the seniors. <3 :]
Well, it's almost bed time; I must update my story so that I don't get gutted.
Love love love.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Gonna start adding some photography posts.
Started work at the Senior Center today.
BUSTED MY ASS.
Seriously, I guess noobz have to do everything.
It won't be THAT hard.
The worst of it will be getting up at 6:30 every morning.
KILL ME HARD.
Gonna go write.
Monday, June 14, 2010
So I saw the greatest movie last night. Some local actors and actors from Texas. It's a comedic/romantic/musical! :D It's called "Horrible Turn". The guy up in the picture is Jacob Buras. He plays the antagonist, Kenny Hammerstein. The whole movie is hilarious and you can watch it all for free at http://www.horribleturn.com/youtube/
Now, onto other things. The boys have been nuts today. We went to the court house today on some official family bid-ness. They were moderately behaved. But as soon as we left they became nutzo. Then we went and saw the new Karate Kid. It was so much better than the original. I give it 9.1 stars. And I suggest everyone sees it!
Got some writing to do tonight. Demanding fans and a lot of ideas are swirling.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I have the ambition to do great things. I have the ability. Some people are creating obstacles, others are obstacles. So, if I can put my mind to this, I can do it. I've been reading The Bible with the boys, praising and worshiping like I should have been for a while. I'm ecstatic with the knowledge that I can do anything, and I pray when I need help or reassurance.
Things are so much different from our perspective. I hope that I can focus on the fact that someday this will all make sense. It's hard, and I'm not doing the best job on Earth, but I do feel like I'm doing what's right.
Tomorrow I start my job.
Wish me luck, world.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I didn't remember what you looked like in the casket. Must have blocked it out. The only thing I remember is seeing your thumb, and how they hadn't cleaned the dirt from under your nails, which was very unfitting as you were such a clean freak. But I just remembered that your eyes were all puffy underneath, and there were these two creases that your skin made to compensate for the swollen area. It makes me sick.
Sometimes I have panic attacks because I have these flashes of pictures or visions you in my head. You scare me. It shouldn't be like that.
Shannon's in Griffin, Cliff! She is. She did it. She's trying to get better. It wasn't all for nothing. But, bad news is, she's talking to Cheyenne. She tells him she loves him. It's not good. He's supposed to get out this year. But don't worry. I'll protect Justice. Shannon can screw up her own life. I want nothing to do with Cheyenne and neither should Justice. He's a murderer, and he's nuts, to boot.
Do you get to watch us from up there? Or is that exclusively for The Big Guy? I know you visited Phoenix a couple times. I wish you had found a way to say "Hi". You're such a silly Jew.
I need to get back into the habit of showing you to Pheefers. I don't want him to forget you, Cliff. I would hate that. It's been... holy shit. In 3 days, Jew, it's been 2 months. That's insane. 2 months since I've seen you, and will never, on this Earth, see you again.
I miss you, I love you, I want you back here.
Justice is talking about it more. He misses you something awful. So do brothers. It's so hard without you. Mom is sooo mad at you. It's like you just went away. I need to go to your grave. It's just surreal sometimes.
Come to me in my dreams, dang it!
I love you, Jewface.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
I had to take a special picture for this. I'm so thrilled. Yet, it really was hard to watch them drive away. :[ But I'll be fi-ine as soon as my bestie gets here. [Among others.] But especially bestits Mysti. And I'm not sure how I feel about being a "smoker" because I feel bad everytime I smoke solo.
I think it be dumbuh.
Anywho-uh. Zero McLovely and I are about to sit down and eat babies. That is my plan. I'm so fucking happy with my life. Everything is okay. I'm okay. My mom is okay. The boys are okay. It's all okay. :D
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I missed you again today, Cliff.
I got a little teary.
I wish you were still here.
God, I wish you were still here.
The kids are doing well.
I'm taking care of Phoenix like you asked me to.
He sleeps with me every night and throws fits.
If he's uncomfortable, he lets me know.
Shannon seems to be doing much better.
She is coming to see the boys today.
I'm going to get guardianship of them
so that I can legally help them and stuff.
My mom worked out this system of good marks
and bad marks for rewards and discipline.
It is working a lot better than yelling.
Justice is giving me the most problems.
He's so angry.
Especially without you.
I think he has still not fully accepted it.
None of us really have.
I love you.
I'll write to you soon.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Life as I know it is ceasing to exist.
Someone else's life has taken over.
It's so fucking hardddd.
Tomorrow I must get off my ass
and clean this fucking apartment.
DHS don't like no messes, massa.
Schari is coming into town May 12th or 13th.
I'm inviting everyone to accompany us to
Frontier City; Clyde too.
It sounds spectacular to me.
I need a break from all this.
Shannon has been sober when I talked to her.
How confused am I?
Oh, I'm quite the mess.
I'm getting to a blank spot in my mind.
I had so much to say.
You can't expect me to ignore the fact
that you actually told me
you LOVE me.
Oh my gosh.
You make this much more difficult than need be.
I'm glad Mysti is the only person that sees this.
You are ridiculously on my mind too much.
I hate you for it.
Don't ask me why you make me laugh so hard.
[Oh, and, by the way.
It's not normal for me
to get sick when someone
says goodnight. Just sayin'.]
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I think things can only get better from here. Thanks for letting me know you're okay, Cliff. I love you, Jewbacca.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Please tell me this isn't happening.
I, all of a sudden, develop a sort of like-a-lot-ish feelings for a friend... from the internet! This is the stupidest thing. If he would just stop being so nice to me, so caring and concerned, so insecure and humble, so fucking wise and funny...
MAYBE I'D STOP LIKING HIM.
Internet boy crush.
Only it feels less like a crush.
I was crying.
So you know what he said?
"What if I kissed your eyes.
Made them feel better.
For all you know, my kisses cure cancer."
I think I shed one more tear FOR him.
But then I stopped. Because that was 3rd in line of things he had said to make me feel better.
He deserved my dry eyes.
He's fucking beautiful.
I know if I actually told anyone, they'd call me an idiot.
But he's the only person who keeps making me laugh through all of this.
New subject. Cliff's funeral is in a few hours. I can't sleep. I'm terrified. If I see him, it'll be real. Save me.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Clifford. You were just at my apartment last night. I know you're reading this right now, or just know what I'm saying. I'm sure of it.
I can't believe you did this. I'm fucking pissed at you. Fucking Jew. I love you so much, you're like my brother. You were the best thing that happened to my boys; to my sister. You were her world, whether or not she showed it. You were so amazing. Just wake up. Please. Wake up and tell everyone you were joking. This is just a bad Jew joke.
I remember the first time I understood that I was a part of the family. You made it clear. I'm sad I only told you I loved you one time. If I could go back, I would've told you again. All the time. But I can't and you aren't coming back. I want you to come to our dreams, yeah? Call me a leprechaun. Just once more. I'm begging you. Let me say goodbye. Let me tell you how much you changed us, and helped us. I love you, Cliff. We all love you.
I'll tell Phoenix all the best things, Cliff. I'll tell him about the last time I saw you, and how you squeezed him tight and said, "Hey, big guy. I missed you."
Hey, big Jew. I'll miss you.
Friday, April 9, 2010
There's a million and one things going on in my fucking life.
I need support, not judgement.
I need help, not remorse.
I need you, not them.
I'm going to go watch pirated episodes of True Blood; I feel weak.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
A solid figure in my life.
My dog is my rock.
I AM SO PATHETIC.
So what to do after they move out?
I'm so fucking screwed. I gotta figure this bull shit out. It's so like me to fall apart. Especially at the times when I need to be keeping it together.
I'm trying to find an exterpositive thing in my life.
End of story.
Motto for the day.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Today is the first day of the Deadly Sins shoot.
Idk yet how it will go.
I've got a million ideas swirling in my head.
I hope they jump out of my head and onto the ground; in front of the camera, of course.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
I somehow discovered that everything I thought I had was just pretenses.
I have my mom who I can count on entirely too much.
That one I know for sure.
And as I break down, writing this at 1:20 am, I am alone.
My nephews are asleep, scattered sporadically around the living room; my roommates are laughing in their room...
Yet somehow, I feel like this apartment is a ghost town.
This place is a ghost town, and damn it if I'm not the one haunting this room.
I want to remove myself from this and every situation involving me.
I'll adopt a pseudonym and live like a Gypsy; I won't need anything.
I know who I sound like right now, and I'm okay with that.
And I sound like an attention-starved, punk-bitch.
I'm okay with that.
When everything is good, I won't be excited anymore.
I know what follows it.
All of this over breakfast plans?
I'll write for me.
"TIME TO PRETEND."
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Mary called me.
Little Jon was featured on a song with a Hispanic Hip Hop artist.
Instead of his traditional, "WHAT??!!"
He yelled, "QUE??!!"
So I'm off to bed. Work and cleaning to do tomorrow.
Audi 5,000 like your mom's pants... on the ground?
Man Chuck Norris Jokes make me so happy.
So would dinner.
Dinner would make me happy.
Does anyone wanna feed me a giraffe?
So my life is so good now that my other half is back. FOR GOOD. Maybe you went away to figure out where home is.
So these are the reasons I love being an Oklahoman:
1. Southern cooking.
2. More people are Christians out here since we're in the Bible Belt.
3. It will always feel like home.
4. People are a lot more polite here than in most states.
5. (It's that) Southern hospitality.
6. Those country roads.
7. Those city lights.
9. The early morning sky.
10. SOUTHERN COOKING.
Welcome my friends, it's gonna be a long stay.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I need a power strip to connect these beats.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I know, it's weird but that's why she's my Tweedle Dick.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I'm in my Tro's room. It smells like a man. Not a foul sweaty man; a real, clean, hardworking, leather boot wearing, satin sheet sleeping, cologne using, full-flavor smoking man. Mysti just got a chub over that description. [It poked my leg. All the way from California.]
How is it out there, my friend? Is it beautiful? Is it man-filled? Is it everything we want and more? I hope it is. I hope you're having a wonderful time. Tell your mom happy birthday for me when the time comes.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
- Get back on im.
- Get back-back on im.
- Get back-back-back on im.
- talk to Mysti til my beefy digits fall off.
- Make mental note that beefy digits is funny verbally, dirty when read.
- Stop making to-do's.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Spent some time outside today. Back at work after my 'injury', I guess you could say. Oh, and, not that anyone is impressed, but the color in this photo is not normal color splash. I added it all to a black and white photo. Cuz I'm a g. Mysti would think it was cool. Speaking of my dear heart. I saw a movie today that would make her shit her pants. In the best way possible.
I am literally counting the days til you get here, best friend on Earth.
I found out if you spit in the wind it does not hit you in the face. It slaps you on the chest with a sound. I'm currently acheiving two ends of a spectrum, caring for an elderly woman and babysitting a young girl. I am all-powerful. My to-do list for the day is:
- Go home.
- Work on muh beats/spits.
- Make myself some din din.
- Call Mysti a hippo.
- Hug Zero like I will never see him again.
- Tell Lunchbox I called Mysti a hippo.
My to-do's don't need to be in order. Just have to happen.
I love Mystits. That's all.